Thursday 9 January 2014

What I learned about our Airstream living in my neighbour's driveway in the Winter

Ol' BlackWater keep on Rollin'

Ya, not so much when the temps dip below -7C
    I will just point out here, that I am a WARRIOR when it comes to stress. I pride myself on being able to get out of a jam with a cool head (throw your coat on the couch instead of hanging it on a hook right across from there and I am known to LOSE it on you, or leave the knife on the placemat and only take your dish to the sink, put my indoor hammer in your toolbox in the garage after you've used it...well, but I digress!)
I have LIKEd about a hundred OffGrid/Survival/Homesteader sites on Facebook and know how to make a heater out of two clay pots and a candle...oKAYYYY? but....
the thing I learned about myself while living in the driveway in winter, is that, once the blackwater tank is full, the outer one foot of blackwater pipe is frozen solid and I am forced to fashion a compost toilet from a biodegradable plastic bag laid in a bowl set in my Airstream toilet and poo on KITTY LITTER, I melt down!
Everyone has a place where their line is drawn, and I found out that this is where mine is, TWICE!
Those of you who are not now ROTFL their asses off at my cruel and embarrassing fate, may like to know the technicalities of how we dealt with this.
      After plan A failed, -> (We read about our problem on the AirForums and went to the hardware store and bought a 40 dollar Heat Tape line as per the suggestion of one of the Sages on there. Why it's called Heat Tape when you actually have to buy something else that is essentially tape to tape the Heat Tape on with, I can only imagine has something to do with the company being owned and operated by men alone! Of course, said Sage was likely in Kentucky or even Florida and not Toronto, Ontario, Canada in the coldest winter on record! cause the heat line didn't melt shit! literally.)
Hubby built a plywood box that fit under the belly pan and surrounded the exposed blackwater pipe, the valve and the end of the grey water pipe as well and we placed a small space heater under there. (FOR A COUPLE DAYS! hence the Kitty Litter and the melt down HA! mine AND the blackwater pipe's)


Three Dog Night

The plan b solution and precursor to the Benefits of MultiCulturalism. What?!?!!?
I'll just say, that, if you plan to travel to cold climates with your Airstream, three, is a perfect number of labradors to take along as a plan b in case, you are say, running out of propane in a place where everyone is the SAME culture and therefore not selling anything on a certain holiday or something.

The heat is back ON in this photo!



Benefits of MultiCulturalism

Propane was for sale at 4am Christmas morning within a 50 mile radius.
     At approximately 3am, while others were finishing up playing Santa, my hubby became unusually snuggly. I awakened to a freezing cold nose pressed up against the back of my neck and realized the temperature inside the Airstream had dropped. I lifted my keen dog sense of hearing above the sound of the noise machine I had running (which also served as a harbinger in case of the AC power failure three days before!) for long enough to realize the furnace was not running. (The blasted thermometer in the AS is not that efficient I noticed and sometimes let it get pretty cold in here before turning on)
I pushed Hubs OFF! realizing he had not checked the propane and had let us RUN OUT, ON CHRISTMAS EVE!)
     Once he awakened and realized I was annoyed, he LEAPT into action and headed out into the night for what I thought was going to be a mission impossible. As I cocooned the blankets around me, I started to ponder if that Facebook prevalent homemade heater with the candles and the two clay pots actually worked. (and how I'd scale the piles of disorganized contractor tools to where my clay pots were in the messy frozen garage)
     My Bestie was visiting for Christmas (in case you haven't been following) and sleeping on the pull out sofa (always pulled out AND adorned with 4 inch thick Memory Foam topper and the three labradors we bought this Airstream FOR) Fortunately, he's as much an actual dog as I and so he slept amongst them. I found this to be an enviable sleeping arrangement anyway, but tonight it became my Plan B. Just as I began to shiver and put this plan in action. I hovered over Bestie and the dogs with the blankets from my bed to pull over the 5 of us, once I snuggled in, I heard the comforting sound of the propane tanks clanking back in and being bolted down. I uttered, "Santa has come with the propane, God Bless the Pakistani people" and to all a Good Night.


Stress Management = DO NOT SET GOALS when you have no control over the timing

     Our renovation (replacement of a crumbling foundation in case you haven't been following, to the tune of 150k probably +++ but don't Cry for me Argentina) was supposed to take 2 months and we applied for our permit in March. Plenty of time one would think, but of course, City of Toronto being what they are, and Murphy's Law always in action, things got started the first week of October. This timing was really pushing it as far as winter was concerned, since in Toronto, Canada winter has been known to blast in as early as mid November. It didn't.    
      Fortunately, what I didn't do was actually get attached in anyway to the notion of 2 months completion. I never asked how long it would take (I overheard my contractor estimating for someone who did ask is how I knew the 2 month thing) and when people asked me I always answered, "there's no way to predict" This saved me and my relationship with my contractor.
     It has been three months, one month with nothing happening but our poor stressed out contractor monitoring all weather reports on all channels, tv, radio and internet streams, all the time, waiting for a break in the weather of  a few days above -5 degrees Celsius. I don't think we are even halfway finished and until I can get back in my office, I play on facebook, write blogposts, look out at the forlorn quiet construction site across the street and tend to our survival in the driveway. Occasionaly I am overcome by my lack of productivity and contribution to the price tag which started as an estimate of 120 thousand, became 125 on the first day and has risen ever since. I am a Realtor but most of my time has been taken up with this project and my father's estate, so I look forward to being back at it, but I do NOT, and will NOT set a goal with a timeline and that is the most important thing I've learned in the driveway so far! oh, and to be grateful!

You can see Hubby's plywood warming box invention at the rear of the tires on the right in the photo. Brilliant! (Now to figure out how to stop the melting from wetting the spaceheater and shorting out the electrical circuit. DOH!)

   

Thursday 2 January 2014

Best friend comes for Christmas/ICE STORM

    When I lived in NYC I had the divine good fortune to meet my best friend. He was 17 and spoke hardly any English and was working as an assistant to a NASTY dogwalker; a colleague of mine. She was one of those "friends" that was actually an enemy you keep closer.
    She was taking advantage of his status in the country and paid him very little, even though I could see immediately, he was a natural dogtrainer, and was amazing with dogs. While supporting him in leaving her and starting a business on his own, we became close friends. I'm 21 years his senior and he once asked me to teach him to be a dogtrainer. I taught him everything I could think of to teach and he has never ceased teaching ME since the day we met. We have been inseparable emotionally for almost 20 years now, but physically we were separated 8 years ago by legality statuses and the Canada/U.S. border (not to mention a few States and Provinces and a lack of finances for travel.)


When I left to come back to Canada, we promised we'd be spending Christmas together and did when we could but every year we strove to get him legal to come to Canada and spend Christmas here.
It finally became official this November and this is the diary of our amazing celebration!





We always loved to thrift shop when we lived in NYC and so whenever I shopped here,


 I always had him with me in spirit. How unbelievably fun to finally, actually have him here shopping with me, as well. We tore it up, we popped some tags, it was fuckin awesome!(<---Macklemore)


My stepson had gone to visit NYC once when I wasn't there and although they had never met, he put the SS up in his apartment and showed him around. On Sunday, we went to the Gay Village to a place SS suggested, the Garage and bestie got cruised and flirted with by the super cute waiter. We also almost ended up at Steamworks but for the fact that the boys didn't think I could pass for a Trannie.


During his stay the lights went out in Georgia! er, ah, Toronto since we had an ICE STORM and hundreds of thousands of people were without power. I think, our neighbours had been feeling sorry for us up until that point, everyone asking as they were if we were "warm enough" inside the Airstream. We have a propane furnace and although being plugged in to our neighbour's electrical outlet made it easier to run than recharging our batteries with our tow vehicle every 8 hours or so for an hour or two, we were the only ones living on the street for a few days!
  My bestie took it all in natural stride and we joined him at his club LA Fitness for luxuriating showers, swims in a salt water pool and he lolled about nightly on the pull-out sofa with the 4 inch thick Costco Memory Foam adorned by three furry labradors. (The night hubbie forgot to top up the propane, he says he wore Charles, "as a scarf"! I was just about to take the comforter off my bed and join them in the front of the trailer when hubs, the ultimate hunter and gatherer returned with said propane!)


Of course I couldn't wait to show him my little slice of heaven on the Bay and our other Airstream, the Baby Whale, which is still parked there despite the nasty neighbour complaining to the City that she was an EYESORE!


EYESORE!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?! Pfffft!